I’ve been where you are.Now I help you get to the other side of it — steadier than when you started.
I’m Becky Swanson. I’m not a theory-only coach, and I didn’t learn this work from the outside looking in.
I didn’t learn this from a textbook. I learned it living through my own divorce.
I know what it feels like to be capable in every other room of your life and completely out of your depth in this one. I know the 1am math on custody schedules and legal fees. I know how one reactive text can undo an entire day — because I’ve sent that text.
I got through it. Then I rebuilt — I remarried, I kept raising my kids, and I kept doing the work I’d already trained for: first as an ICF-certified life coach, later as an ordained pastor. What I didn’t expect was how directly all of it would apply to the hardest season of my own life, and to the women who started calling me once they found out I’d actually been through this.
So I built the thing I wish someone had handed me: a way to stay out of the muck of divorce — the obsessive re-reading of texts, the diagnosing of your ex’s motives, the emotional reactivity that costs you money and peace — and to respond instead of react, on purpose, every time it counts.
Divorce does not have to destroy families. Handled thoughtfully, it can become a transition that leads to strength, resilience, and a life that feels whole again.
Credentials that actually apply to what you’re facing.
ICF-Certified Life Coach
Coaching looks forward — toward your next decision and your next chapter — instead of backward through what already happened. That’s the work you need most while you’re still in the middle of it.
Certified Divorce Coach
Specialized training in the specific decisions, dynamics, and pressure points of divorce — not general life coaching applied loosely to your hardest season.
ELCA Pastor
Grace-centered, non-fundamentalist spiritual grounding for grief and identity work, for clients who want it. Never required, never assumed.
Everything you tell me stays off the record. I keep no session notes, so you can speak freely.
I’m not your therapist. I’m not your attorney. I’m the strategist in between.
Attorneys solve legal problems. They’re not typically in the business of helping you regulate your response to an 11pm text, write the email that doesn’t sabotage your case, or decide what actually matters to you before you’re sitting across from a mediator.
Therapists help you process what happened. That work matters — and it’s usually not what you need most while you’re still in the middle of live decisions with real deadlines.
I work in between: emotional steadiness and strategic clarity, applied together, to the actual decisions in front of you right now. Not fainthearted isn’t a tagline for me — it’s the identity I had to build for myself first, before I ever coached anyone through building it for themselves.
I meet clients at two points — and I’m honest when I’m not the right fit.
I work best with women who are
- Pre-decision — scared, still weighing whether to divorce, wanting clarity before anything else
- Mid-process — already in it, stuck, overwhelmed, or working with an attorney who isn’t hearing what they actually want
- Professionally established, used to solving hard problems, and currently out of their depth on this one
Worth knowing
- If your situation involves abuse or coercive control, or your children have needs that call for a specialist
I’ll tell you that directly, and point you to a trusted colleague who’s the better fit. That’s not a brush-off — it’s the same strategic honesty you’d be hiring me for.
You don’t need the whole plan today. You need the next right step.
Applying takes a few minutes. If it’s a fit, we’ll talk. If it’s not, I’ll tell you — and point you somewhere better if I can.